Monday, May 11, 2009

Pay attention, even on the web.

DesMoinesRegister.com - May 11, 2009


Sources say training of Iowa-born pilot was an issue in Buffalo crash

Officials for FAA and Colgan didn't immediately reply to a request for comment.
Besides his inexperience with the stick-pusher, Renslow had failed at least two flight simulator "check rides" administered by FAA during his employment at Colgan and several other check rides earlier in his career, sources said.
Colgan may not have known about the previous check ride failures because of a loophole in FAA requirements about what pilots must tell prospective employers, sources said.

Another issue to be probed at the hearing is whether the flight's first officer, Rebecca Shaw, was too fatigued to fly but failed to tell Colgan that because the work culture at the airline didn't encourage such disclosures, sources said.
Shaw had been a passenger on a red eye flight the previous night from Seattle, where she lived with her parents, in order to be at Newark Liberty International Airport for the flight to Buffalo. She also had a cold and was suffering from congestion, sources said.



It's hard to tell in this format, but the formatting on these two paragraphs was messed up on the Des Moines Register website. In both paragraphs, after "sources said," there was a large space, with the next sentence starting on the next line. If this is supposed to be a new paragraph, then there needs to be an extra line between them, like in the rest of the article. If it is supposed to be the same paragraph, then the next sentence should start on the same line. In either case, these weird spaces are very distracting, and probably stopped some people from reading on. Formatting and layout is important, even on the web.

Lame Lead

CNN.com - May 11, 2009

Cheney ramps up attacks on both sides of the aisle

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Far from a secure, undisclosed location, former Vice President Dick Cheney is out in the open and increasing his criticism on the Obama administration and even fellow Republicans.

There is not a grammatical mistake in this lead, but it is just a poor lead. The beginning is a play on the "secure, undisclosed" location that the Vice President goes to during an national emergency. But this has no bearing on the current situation, especially since he is no longer Vice President. Most readers won't know the reference, and so it just seems random. Even if people get the reference, it is just a poor play on words. If the writer could not come up with anything clever, a better lead would just have been a news lead, which outlines what happened. 

Sunday, May 10, 2009

So nice, she said it twice

TimesDelphic.com - May 7, 2009

University takes measures to fend off swine flu


Despite this, the university has implemented many preemptive policies and practices to both prevent transmission of the illness if it does reach campus and plan appropriately for control of the virus among the student population. 

I just can't see the difference between preventing the transmission of the virus and controlling it among the student population. They both mean stopping the virus from spreading from person to person. And yet the writer says that the university is doing both. I think they are just doing one thing, but the writer thought it sounded better to write it two different ways. If you aren't paying close attention, you might not even notice that the two are the same. Nevertheless, the writer limited her words to talk about other things or to more thoroughly explain other points of the article.

Put a little work into it, for God's sake

DesMoinesRegister.com - May 10, 2009


Hansen: Ankeny couple don't know YouTube, but they're on it

The author of this article is Marc Hansen, so I don't see the need to put this name in the headline. If it's his article, then he must be saying it. Plus, it's not an editorial, and the headline itself is not opinion, but fact. Why not just say "Ankeny couple don't know YouTube, but they're on it"? But even that is not the best; it's a cluttered, awkward title. It's a very sweet story about an older couple that sang at a Nursing Home. The video got put on YouTube, and now they're stars, even though they don't own a computer. The headline should match the tone of the story.

Mistake #2
A guy from L.A. who told them he represents "Good Morning America" wants to fly them into New York to chat with Diane Sawyer.

A guy from L.A.? Who are you talking to, your best friend? Put  a little work into it. What is the guy's name? What is his title? If these things aren't known, at least use the word "man." "Guy" makes the author sound like he's 14.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Caption need attention, too.

DesMoinesRegister.com - May 4, 2009

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Site=D2&Date=20090504&Category=COMM&ArtNo=905040812&Ref=PH&Params=Itemnr=4

Neighborhood Associations' Event
May 4, 2009 
Jonathan Quinn/For the Register 


bilde.jpg


saac Garcia of Des Moines participates in the children's dance performance.



bilde.jpg


arah Schoen and Alyssa and Katie Jurado of Des Moines take a break from the festivities.





I'm pretty sure this people's names aren't "saac" and "arah" but Isaac and Sarah. In fact, I know they aren't, since I know the photographer and helped him with the captions. This is just a simple copy and paste issue on the part of the editor or whoever is responsible for loading content. Also, just a quick read-through would have caught this right away.



Sunday, May 3, 2009

Few vs. couple vs. now

TimesDelphic.com - April 30, 2009


Science Center's IMAX offers wide range of films


"Oscar season is over, and with a few months until the summer blockbuster season begins, heading to the movies seems hardly worth it."

This is the lead of the story, and it has a mistake in it, though it's not a grammatical mistake. I think this writer might have pushed the truth a bit to get a clever lead.

It is not a few months until blockbuster season begins. Although there is some disagreement over when the season begins, many people believe the official start of the blockbuster season is late April or early May. In other words, now. Others believe it doesn't start until June, but that's only one month away, not a few. In fact, even if you said the season started on the official first day of summer, that's last than two months away. Two is a couple. Few is at least three. Any way you slice it, the blockbuster season is not a few months away. A writer should not be so attached to their lead that they forget fact.
DesMoinesRegister.com - May 3, 2009

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090503/LIFE/905030302

Economy, nature force Iowans to reinvent the arts

"The university's dilemma about how to forge ahead is hardly unique.Cultural organizations across the state..."

There just seem to be so many of these little typos around that proofreading should be able to catch. Spell-check even catches when there is no space between sentences. This kind of error is not only distracting, but also makes it more difficult to read and understand the two sentences, because you want to run them together. 

Friday, May 1, 2009

It is the worst

Newsweek - May 4, 2009

Reel Recession Bargains - p. 60

"It can't be worst than the last one."

Know your comparatives, Newsweek! The word should be "worse" since the sentence is comparing two things: "it" and "the last one."